A Reflective Essay of a Highly Sensitive Person

I believe that everyone is born with a sympathetic heart and a judgmental brain, both of which are inseparable gifts from God, although they function differently.

And some people are born with a more stubborn heart than others. I am one of them.

During my childhood, I can easily understand people’s feelings and comfort them with sympathy, I called them “friends”. That time, I experienced school bullying for years just because of my ugly appearance. Every night I wished that somebody who I called “friends” would stand up for me. Ironically, the fairy did not answer my wish then. As I mentioned, everyone is born with a pure soul like a white paper, so a 9-year-old me believed being ugly was my fault and I deserved to be bullied. That time, I remained silent.

During my adolescence, some “friends” came to me to complain about their obstacles then said I was like a “trash bin” for people to throw out their problems. That time, my stubborn heart believed that my feelings were unworthy.

During my 19s, the money that I earned myself by the first time job was stolen by my elder brother for a bad purpose. At the moment when I found out the saving that I did not dare to use for any cost was stolen, I could not breathe and cried all of my heart out. That was the first time I could not hold my emotions in front of others. But you know what I received? My mom told me I was overreacting and she defended my brother instead. That time, my stubborn heart was totally broken into pieces and it believed I was nothing in this world.

I used to have suicidal thoughts, but the only hope that prevents me from ending my life is my belief in Allah. However, it is really difficult for me to get out of the thought that I am worthless and my sensitivity is a burden since everyone always tells me that I am too sensitive and emotional. That makes me believe I am a lonely creature with a highly sensitive heart in a society where people will be praised for their attractive appearance and extrovert personalities.

Although time does not heal the wound, it helps me to learn how to accept everything. I start to accept that this world will never work as people expected it to be. I accept my unique abilities as a highly sensitive person and believe that my mission when God sent me to life is to accompany and heal others’ miseries. This does not mean I do not hurt when I reflect on things people said, it means I am learning to respect myself and letting go of what people try to define me. This time, my stubborn heart believes that I can make it.

I wrote this for those people just like me - who always think they are unworthy and are feeling lost in the journey of learning how to compromise their highly emotional sensitivity and the excessive expectation from society.

Remember: “You are not alone”.

Written by:

Ha Mi Da